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The Heartbreaking Truth of a Heartbreak

July 8, 2015
You know "Writer's Block"? The unexplainable sense where you can't put your thoughts and feelings into words? Heartbreak is kind of like that- when you aren't sure how to explain the gut wrenching, depressingly hopeless feeling you have when you've lost the one that you love.

I'm 19 years old. They say that in any of your teen years, you don't really know what love is, but I'm calling bullshit. No one can tell me I don't feel true love for someone. No one can claim that I don't know what love is. No one can convince me that the feelings I have for another don't qualify as legit ones. Yes, I'm 19 years old, and I know what true love means for myself.

To me, true love is the feeling you get on a Sunday afternoon. True love is a candid of your best friend laughing. It's the overwhelming feeling of adventure and livelihood that you get from going on a trip somewhere. Now add someone who holds a very special place in your heart, one who you would sacrifice anything for, and who betters you in every way. It only makes sense that you want that person there with you through all of those things, right? The one sitting with you on that Sunday afternoon. The one smiling in that picture. The one driving the car on the trip you're going on. That's part of true love. The want for your person to experience everything under the sun with you, even the events that seem insignificant or small. Your Love.

My Love does not love me the way I love him- that I know. But even so, that doesn't defer the truth of my emotions.
I guess I love too hard- maybe my love can be a little overwhelming? Well... I guess that's good. At least I know that when I feel something, I feel all of it; I don't half ass things. At first, I believed that the way I loved had to be wrong, considering my Love doesn't feel the same. After some time, I realized that I am not the one who needed to be fixed- I was the passionate and devoted star-crossed lover, that believed my future was in the eyes of another. I am in touch with my feelings, and what my heart believes, and even though there is so much pain in non-reciprocated feelings, there is also beauty in it.

The beauty to be able to love hard. The beauty in knowing exactly what you want. The beauty in feeling things so harsh, and so vividly. The beauty of feeling pain. Not so much the pain itself, but the fact that an emotion that is supposed to bring you nothing but happiness, correlates the direct opposite.

There is a plan that is constructed for all of us, one that you would find in a story book. This plan is already written and the words will not falter, but there is no way of skipping ahead. Realize that your plan, your future, does not depend on someone else. The fact of the matter is, when you find your Love, their story fits into the spaces in between the words of your life. Live in the time you are experiencing right now, because you never know what is coming next. If you tell yourself this over and over, it might save you from insanity.

Heartbreak is writer's block, but it won't last forever. Pretty soon the block dismembers, and the heart mends. Wait for that.

"Maybe one day we'll find that place where you and I could be together, and we'll catch our dreams within the waves of change. So smile for me one last time and believe that we'll meet again. Until then, I'll be missing you."
- R.M. Drake

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